Mourning and Healing After a Child is Diagnosed with Autism

Life has an uncanny way of throwing unexpected curveballs our way, challenging us in ways we never imagined. One such curveball is a beloved child being diagnosed with autism.

It’s an emotionally overwhelming moment, where feelings of fear, confusion, grief, and mourning can engulf parents and caregivers. However, it’s important to remember that a diagnosis is not the end, but the beginning of a unique journey filled with hope, growth, and immense love.

In this post, I’ll share my story of when my son was diagnosed with autism and share tip on grieving, healing and acceptance after a child is diagnosed with autism.

My Child was Diagnosed with Autism

My Story

When my youngest son was diagnosed with autism, it felt like my world shattered. The signs had been there, those subtle differences in his development that set him apart from his twin sister. But I had hoped it was just a phase, something he would outgrow. I didn’t want to believe that my child could have special needs. It was a difficult reality to accept.

Looking back, there were certain characteristics that stood out. The repetitive behaviors, the elopement, the intense interests in specific subjects, and the fleeting eye contact. These were all red flags, but I held onto the hope that it was just a part of his unique personality. It wasn’t until he began losing the skills he had previously acquired, especially his ability to communicate, that the truth became impossible to ignore.

The loss of his language skills hit me hard. My little one, who had been saying words before the age of one, suddenly retreated into his own world. It was as if a veil had been drawn between us, and I longed to hear his voice again. We sought help, and he began receiving speech services. His speech pathologist gently urged us to have him evaluated by a specialist in pediatric behavior and autism.

The diagnosis

As we went through the evaluation process, a part of me clung to the hope that the diagnosis would be something else, anything else. But deep down, I knew what the answer would be. When the doctor finally confirmed our fears and said the words, “autism spectrum disorder,” it felt like a dagger to my heart. I remember crying uncontrollably, consumed by fear, confusion and grief.

The grief was overwhelming. I cried for days and weeks, mourning the loss of the life I had imagined for my child. I had to take time off from work to process the information and give myself space to heal. It was important to allow myself time to come to terms with the new path our family would be walking.

Road to Healing

But amidst the pain, there was also a glimmer of hope. As I started to educate myself about autism, I discovered stories of incredible individuals who had thrived despite their challenges. I found a supportive online community of parents who understood what I was going through and offered guidance and comfort. I realized that my child being diagnosed with autism didn’t mean the end of his potential; it was just a different journey than I had anticipated.

Over time, I learned to focus on my child’s strengths and celebrate his unique abilities. I embraced early intervention services, therapies, and educational support that could help him reach his full potential. I became an advocate for his needs and an active participant in his growth and development.

Today, my child continues to amaze me. He has his challenges, but he also has incredible strengths and talents. I have learned to appreciate the beauty in his unique perspective and to celebrate every milestone, no matter how small.

What To Do After a Child is Diagnosed with Autism

Acknowledging Grief

Receiving an autism diagnosis for your child can trigger a profound sense of loss, as it shatters preconceived notions and dreams of a “typical” childhood. It’s essential to acknowledge and validate the grief you may feel.

Give yourself permission to mourn the expectations you had, allowing space for emotions like sadness, anger, and fear to be expressed. Recognize that this process is natural and necessary, as it allows you to move towards acceptance and understanding.

Seeking Support

Navigating the path of autism can be challenging, but remember, you’re not alone. Reach out to your support network, including family, friends, and professionals who can provide guidance, empathy, and practical assistance.

Connecting with other parents who have a child diagnosed with autism through support groups, online communities, or local organizations can also be immensely beneficial. Sharing your thoughts, concerns, and experiences with others who have walked a similar path can offer solace, strength, and a sense of belonging.

Related: The Importance of Early Intervention Therapies for Autistic Children

Educating Yourself

Knowledge is empowering. Educate yourself about autism spectrum disorder (ASD) to gain a better understanding of your child’s unique strengths, challenges, and needs.

Learning about therapies, interventions, and resources available can help you make informed decisions regarding your child’s development. By becoming an advocate and expert for your child, you can ensure they receive the support and opportunities they deserve.

Celebrating Individuality

While mourning the loss of certain expectations, it’s crucial to embrace and celebrate your child’s individuality. Each child with autism is unique, with their own talents, interests, and ways of experiencing the world.

Shift your focus from what your child may not achieve to appreciating their remarkable abilities and the progress they make. Embrace their quirks, passions, and the love they bring into your life.

Remember, your child’s diagnosis does not define them entirely; they are a beautiful, multifaceted individual with limitless potential.

Related: Raising an Autistic Child: Embracing Uniqueness and Fostering Growth 

Finding Joy and Gratitude

Amidst the challenges, it’s essential to find moments of joy and gratitude. Celebrate the small victories, no matter how seemingly insignificant. Cherish moments of connection, laughter, and growth.

By cultivating a mindset of gratitude, you shift your perspective and create space for positivity and resilience. Remember, your child’s journey may have unique obstacles, but it is also filled with countless opportunities for growth, love, and happiness.

Final Thoughts

Having your child diagnosed with autism is undeniably a life-altering moment that brings forth a wide range of emotions. Mourning the loss of expectations is a crucial step towards healing and acceptance.

It’s a journey that may be challenging at times, but one that ultimately leads to a deeper understanding, profound love, and growth—for both you and your child. Embrace the unique journey you are on, surround yourself with support, and remember that your child’s autism diagnosis is just one aspect of their incredible story.

Together, let’s celebrate their individuality, find joy in every milestone, and build a future filled with love, acceptance, and endless possibilities.

recommended

• 25 Ways Life Looks Different Parenting an Autistic Child
• The Importance of Early Intervention Therapies for Autistic Children
• Positive Affirmations For Autistic Children You Need To Know